Buzzfeed sans GIFs

19.10.2013 Fun Misc
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Wer dieses Blog hier schon ein paar Tage länger liest, weiß, dass ich von Buzzfeed nicht besonders viel halte, um das mal sehr, sehr diplomatisch zu formulieren. Umso erstaunlicher, dass sich diese furchtbaren Postings ohne Formatierung und ohne die albernen, bei Reddit zusammengeklaubten GIFs in sowas wie Proll-Poetry verwandeln (nicht wirklich, natürlich). Finally: Buzzfeed Articles Without The GIFs. YOU HAD ONE JOB, PANTS! Und wer bastelt jetzt Trash-Poetry aus der HuffPo-Deutschland?

19 Reasons Why Pants Are The Enemy (Minus the GIFs)

Pants are experts at pointing out all of your terrible body problems. Like an overbearing mother you wear all day. Jeans are forever shrinking in the wash. Pants are like jail cells for your legs. When you gain weight, you immediately feel their criticism. You know who was a total loser before he got rid of his pants? WALT. You know who might not have been pulled into Walt’s horrible web of lies and destruction if he hadn’t been slowed down by pants? JESSE. Pants aren’t good enough for Jennifer Lawrence. If you have a broken zipper, you’re gonna have a bad time. The coin pocket is more or less useless. Everyone knows what you’re up to, buddy. You always feel the need to keep pants that don’t fit, even though they just hang in the back of the closet like bitchy girls making fun of you. The only point of rear dress pants pockets is to force you to awkwardly sit on your phone. Because they’re too small FOR ANYTHING ELSE. They keep you from showing off your fancy legs. You put anything in this pocket? Yeah, it’s gonna fall out. All you think about when sitting down is how much you want to unzip them. Pants are like a thousand seam rips waiting to happen. YOU HAD ONE JOB, PANTS. When you think about it, pants are super unnatural. Which of these two do you think would be more fun to get a beer with? Hint: it is not the one wearing pants. When you finally get to take off your pants at night, how do you feel? GREAT. What is the first thing you do when you get home? TAKE THEM OFF. PEACE OUT, PANTS.

Buzzfeed Articles Without The GIFs (via Death and Taxes)