How To Handle 10kg Marijuana on your Lawn

08.12.2012 Misc #Crime #Drugs

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Ich hab' neulich ein bisschen Gras auf der Straße gefunden. Selbstverständlich habe ich auch sofort die Polizei gerufen, weil… Aber im Ernst: Würde ich 10 Kilo Gras in meinem Garten finden würde, würde ich unter Umständen auch die Cops rufen. Vielleicht aber auch nicht, ich weiß es grade nicht. Jedenfalls: Mack Reed hat in seinem Garten eine Tasche voller Gras und Shit gefunden.

I’m trying to deliver a massive month-long project with my dev team at work. On deadline. Today.

And some evil bastard has stuffed a bag of dope into a hole behind my house and turned my life into the backdrop of a James Ellroy noir. Any minute now, some neckless mook with steroidal shoulders and a bullet-shattered voicebox will stalk up behind and beat me bloody with his pearl-handled Desert Eagle .45.

“I do NOT have TIME FOR THIS!” I groan. Hell with it. Only thing to do is get rid of as swiftly and legally as possible. I call 911 - quickly explaining that it’s a non-emergency so I don’t tie up their line. They patch me through and eventually I reach a desk officer at LAPD.

“Yeah, I, uhhh, I just discovered a large cache of drugs that someone stashed on my property. Can you send someone out to pick it up?”

What to do with $175,000 in weed found in your back yard (via Criminal Wisdom)