Pizza Delivery Stories

Ich klick mich grade durch mehrere Sammlungen kurzer Storys von Pizza-Lieferanten, die grade auf Tumblr rumgehen: An Incomplete List of Noteable People I’ve Delivered Pizzas To und Weed of the Samurai. Hier ein paar meiner Favorites:

- A bearded man who answered the door and periodically spat blood into a crusted Harley-Davidson coffee mug while counting out his cash.

- At least three Batmans so far, but only one who did the voice.

- A hotel room full of badass middle-aged women all dressed as Professor McGonagall from the Harry Potter films, who were also completely wasted on Jello shots. They kept encouraging me to stay and party with them.

- A furious lady who yelled at me for a solid five minutes (I kept track) all about how long it took for her delivery to get to her. She then tipped me an extra ten bucks on a six dollar order. I dunno.

- over the entire time I was driving pizzas, at least several hundred dollars worth of weed tips

- a group of stoners who spent a good twenty minutes dreamily stumbling their way through an elaborate pizza order. they called back shortly before the pizzas were due to go out, and were ecstatic to learn that they had already placed an order a short time ago. by the time i arrived at their house they had forgotten again. essentially, it was as if god himself had seen their situation and deigned to deliver pizzas to them. they were so overjoyed they all emptied their wallets at me.

Incomplete List of Noteable People I’ve Delivered Pizzas To und Weed of the Samurai