Modern Lovecraftian Elder Gods

I know this is a running gag here but seriously tho, you really gotta ❤️ McSweeneys: MODERN LOVECRAFTIAN ELDER GODS.


The beast of infinite faces, this malevolent cosmic force thrives on pestering and vexing the hapless. Mh’eme’s cultists spread its ever-changing visage across the far corners of the virtual dimension, sometimes taking the form of a small yellow Minion, sometimes as a cartoon frog, and yet other times as a grumpy looking feline. Often Mh’eme assumes the guise of a politician and works hand in hand with Faek-Newsgurath in order to sow confusion and chaos.


This force of unreality occupies the .nets and .orgs of the virtual dimension, thriving in blogspots and artificial beings known as twitter bots. Faek-Newsgurath whispers its nonsense into the fragile minds of men causing its victims to repeat and spread its madness. Its offspring, including Foxx-Newsgurath and Al’exxjones, serve their master’s dark design to drive men insane with conspiracies and nonsense.


The Bro of the Woods with a Thousand Young delights in polluting the impressionable minds of boys with desires of physical and sexual conquest. The cultists of Shub-Mra, who call themselves MRAs after their god, symbolically ingest “red pills” in a twisted ritual to warp their reality. Shub-Mra will not rest until all women are expelled from the virtual dimension, and all that is left is its followers repeating “well actually” to one another in an endless echoing cacophony.

Donald J. Trump

An evil, bloated entity that exploits his concubine Faek-Newsgurath and attracts the followers of Shub-Mra to terrorize those in the virtual and corporeal dimensions. Donald J. Trump also empowers Yog-Fomo as people have become addicted to the endless and ever-faster news cycles Donald J. Trump inspires. Donald J. Trump’s only true desire is to become larger and more bloated through self promotion and aggrandizement, until everything in the world bears its name.

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