Anal-Probes for Silly Walks

In New Mexico hat ein Mann ein Stopschild überfahren, dafür wurde er prompt von der Polizei angehalten und weil er dabei den Anschein erweckte, die „Arschbacken zusammenzupressen“ – was man ja nur feststellen kann mit der Beobachtung, dass der Herr „seltsam läuft“ –, nahmen die Leute von der Staatsgewalt an, er würde Drogen in seinem Arsch transportieren. Sie bekamen eine richterliche Anordnung zu einer analen Untersuchung des Mannes und fuhren mit ihm in ein Krankenhaus. Dort passierte folgendes:

1. Eckert's abdominal area was x-rayed; no narcotics were found.

2. Doctors then performed an exam of Eckert's anus with their fingers; no narcotics were found.

3. Doctors performed a second exam of Eckert's anus with their fingers; no narcotics were found.

4. Doctors penetrated Eckert's anus to insert an enema. Eckert was forced to defecate in front of doctors and police officers. Eckert watched as doctors searched his stool. No narcotics were found.

5. Doctors penetrated Eckert's anus to insert an enema a second time. Eckert was forced to defecate in front of doctors and police officers. Eckert watched as doctors searched his stool. No narcotics were found.

6. Doctors penetrated Eckert's anus to insert an enema a third time. Eckert was forced to defecate in front of doctors and police officers. Eckert watched as doctors searched his stool. No narcotics were found.

7. Doctors then x-rayed Eckert again; no narcotics were found.

8. Doctors prepared Eckert for surgery, sedated him, and then performed a colonoscopy where a scope with a camera was inserted into Eckert's anus, rectum, colon, and large intestines. No narcotics were found. […]

"This is like something out of a science-fiction film," Eckert's lawyer said. "Anal probing by government officials and public employees."

Und weil das alles noch nicht schlimm genug war: Das Krankenhaus stellte dem Herrn die 2fache manuelle anale Untersuchung, die 3fache Analsondierung mit einem Klistier, die zwei Röntgenaufnahmen und die Darmspiegelung selbstverständlich in Rechnung. Ich wünsche Herrn Eckert allen Erfolg dieser Welt für seine Klage gegen den Staat New Mexico.

Do NOT Clench Your Buttocks in Deming, New Mexico