ZOMG! Marilyn Monroe was bitten by a Vampire!

Im Moment macht eine alte Meldung der Weekly World News die Runde: Marilyn Monroe was bitten by a Vampire – and Hoover had her killed to prevent her from biting JFK. Die komplette Story gibts bei Google Books, wo man sowieso alle Ausgaben von „The Worlds only reliable News“ findet, mittlerweile macht die WWN online weiter.

In derselben Ausgabe der Marilyn-Vampir-Story findet man noch so super Headlines wie: The Ho Whisperer cured my Depression, 2-Headed Man for President, Mom gives Birth to Neanderthal Baby, Zombie Army helped Rebel Leader conquer Haiti. „Tumblr sucks big Time“ steht leider nicht drin. Wahrscheinlich, weil's stimmt.

Screen siren Marilyn Monroe was a blood-slurping vampire who owed her magnetic sexual appeal to the supernatural, a new blockbuster book claims. And even more chilling, the cinema icon's death was not an accidental drug overdose, but a slaying carried out by an FBI strike force to prevent her from biting her lover – President John F. Kennedy.

"FBI director J. Edgar Hoover personally ordered her execution," claims researcher Tom Ransing, author of the upcoming book Blood Feud: Hoover's Secret War on the Undead.

The risk that a president could be vampirized and thus become a vampire himself was simply not one he was prepared to take. JFK's brother, then-Attorney General Robert Kennedy was, of course, also intimate with Marilyn – putting the entire Justice Department in jeopardy as well.

Thus, on Aug. 5 1962, five government agents entered Marilyn's Brentwood mansion and, while three used a crucifix to pin her down, the others punctured her thigh with a hypodermic needle full of holy water – ending the bizarre twilight existence of America's most famous movie star.

Die Scans der Story nach dem Klick oder auf Google-Books: Marilyn Monroe was bitten by a Vampire – and Hoover had her killed to prevent her from biting JFK (via Einhorn, Ronny, Dangerous Minds)

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