Gepostet vor 6 Jahren, 5 Monaten in
The Onion diesmal mit einem Apple-Cronenberg-Remix und einem Macbook, das direkt aus eXistenZ entsprungen sein könnte. Toll!
In his first major product release since stepping in for an ailing Steve Jobs last month, interim Apple CEO Tim Cook faced a storm of harsh criticism Monday after unveiling a grotesque new version of the company's popular MacBook that many in attendance described as "disgusting."
Cook presented the bizarre, malformed new product to stunned silence during a media event at Apple headquarters, revealing a device that, while vaguely similar to a computer in certain respects, appeared to be encased in a thick, flesh-like coating that was visibly moist and engorged. […]
Shocked audience members claimed the appalling laptop, which seemed to many onlookers to have functioning digestive, muscular, and urinary systems, was "hard to look at" and easily the most repellent product yet manufactured by Apple. […]
According to technical specifications released by Apple, the revolutionary laptop also features an advanced graphic display with a movable lid that protects the exposed screen from harmful dust particles or bacterial infections that can cause the monitor to cloud up and ooze a yellow, milky substance.