Breaking News: Local Idiot To Post Comment On Internet

Brandon Mylenek hat heute Reportern gegenüber die erschütternde Verlautbarung vorgebracht, heute Nacht gegen 2:30 Uhr (circa 10:30 Uhr MEZ) einen idiotischen Kommentar unter ein Video auf einer Internet-Seite zu schreiben. Ich denke, genau das könnte der Event sein, den Larry Lessig gemeint hat, als er von einem i9/11 sprach. Aaaah, The Onion... großartig wie immer!

local-idiot-rarticle"Later this evening, I intend to watch the video in question, click the 'reply' link above the box reserved for user comments, and draft a response, being careful to put as little thought into it as possible, while making sure to use all capital letters and incorrect punctuation," Mylenek said. "Although I do not yet know exactly what my comment will entail, I can say with a great degree of certainty that it will be incredibly stupid."

Mylenek, who rarely in his life has been capable of formulating an idea or opinion worth the amount of oxygen required to express it, went on to guarantee that the text of his comment would be misspelled to the point of incomprehension, that it would defy the laws of both logic and grammar, and that it would allege that several elements of the video are homosexual in nature.

"The result will be an astonishing combination of ignorance, offensiveness, and sheer idiocy," Mylenek said.

According to the idiot, he will become incensed at the quality and sentiment of the comments already posted below the video—which will include such replies as "not great, nice try tho," "FIRSTIES!!!" and "wtf?? lol so random." At this point, Mylenek said, he will feel a deep, unwavering desire to offer a dissenting opinion, which he has hinted will include the words "gay" and "reatrd" [sic].

Link (via Laughing Squid)