Rent a HAL robot suit for $1000

Nebbish and sunken-chested, a spindly and asthmatic ectomorph, I've long looked forward to exoskeleton technology. I'm sick of having sand kicked into my face by bullies at the beach as I pursue a dim chance at the reproductive act; an exo-skeleton will even the score by allowing me to confront all of the mesomorphic jerks who torment my life on their own brawny terms and, thus confronting them, hit them so hard they ejaculate their central nervous systems. In the 1940s, we had Charles Atlas; in the double oughts of the new Millennium, we have robot suits made out of titanium.

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